Our nervous system is always working behind the scenes to keep us safe. It moves between different states depending on what it perceives as stress, safety, connection, or threat. Understanding these states helps us stop judging ourselves and start responding with care.

You don’t need to have everything figured out in January. You don’t need a perfectly mapped plan, a color-coded planner with cute highlighters and colorful sticky notes, or a brand-new identity by the end of the month.

December is often shown as a “perfect” season. Pretty lights. Matching pajamas. Smiling families. For many women, especially women of color, the holidays don’t always feel joyful. They can bring stress, old family patterns, financial pressure, and a quiet feeling of “I should be happier than this.”

Many of us grew up being the strong one, the peacemaker, or the caretaker. But that strength often comes at the cost of our own boundaries and emotional needs. True strength means learning when to pause, rest, and honor your own peace.

I realized early in the summer that I was operating in survival mode, and that awareness alone is a form of growth. For years, I didn't even recognize it. Like many high-achieving Black women, I believed that my ability to persevere meant I was okay.

As a woman of color, partner, mother, therapist, and a woman who wears many hats, I get it. You carry a lot. And even when you do rest, there’s often that whisper of guilt: You should be doing something. Let’s rewrite that narrative together.

Most look at therapy as something “other people” do. Maybe even something that feels out of reach, unnecessary, or only for moments of crisis. But the truth is that therapy is for everyone. For those who carry generations of responsibility, pressure, and pain. For those who look like they have it all together but silently feel like something’s falling apart. Therapy is for anyone tired of being strong all the time.

Rest is such a forbidden act for women that are always on the grind. It's time for us to take a moment and change the way we think of rest.